my mom asked about my scars acting like she didn’t know what they came from

ugh, just fucking realize that I’m still not okay.  You keep trying to convince yourself that I am, but I’m not.  I’m just not. 

I feel so broken.  I’m at the point where I no longer care about anything or anyone.  Its become clear to me that I’m so alone in this world and nothing will fix that.  I’m so terrified for myself because it feels as though everything is closing in on me.  I’m scared. 

Sorry I haven’t been on much.  Everything’s just been really bad lately and I haven’t found the time or strength to come on here.
I feel really gross and disgusting right now and my arm is stinging like never before.

I just want the world to stop for atleast 5 seconds so I can catch up on everything and be fine.  I don’t even know.